For the past month my subconscious mind has been processing something Peter linked to on Rob’s weblog. You can read it for yourself, but it basically states that we, western civilization, have decided we no longer like death and have bequeathed the problem of it to our health professionals. When our health professionals claim they have not yet conquered death caused by (insert disease here) we are disillusioned and raise money for scientists somewhere in the mid-west to work tirelessly in a secret underground bunker to develop a cure.
Hiding Death in all the Wrong Places
Posted by on Sunday, June 8, 2003 in - 7 comments
Who are we fooling folks? In Rob’s post he relays a fact that half of the health care dollars spent on us throughout our entire lives is in our last year (I do acknowledge that this could be somewhat like saying your windshield wipers only break when it’s raining). I have had a few elderly people in my circle pass away over the past decade. They had all been rocker bound in old folks home for years. It was never a question of if they were going to die, just when. Why then if it is “when are they going to die” do we squeeze every last breath of life out of someone? Why do we go through with the painful surgeries and medications when the best case scenario is twelve months instead of six months? Where did this attitude come from?
The attitude towards death in our culture is quite sad. We hide it. When our parents get old we shove them in a home to be waited on hand and foot by strangers. We visit twice a week and hate going. Easter and Christmas we stay for more than our customary half hour. We see the death of our parents as an inconvenience to our living. “We can’t take the kids to Disney World this Christmas if Grandma is still alive. I really hope she goes soon”. Living hassle free has been augmented to nirvana status. AOL will make my life fun and easy. My deodorant will make girls like me. My car will make me feel free for five hundred dollars a month. The beautiful process of death just doesn’t fit in with all this living we’re doing. We’re trying to make ourselves immortal. Worse yet, we think it's a good idea.
One of the weirdest things I’ve observed in my time here on earth has been the process that occurs after someone dies. We drain their blood, paint their face, put them in a tux or a dress, and stand in a line to look at them. We can only bear to look at them if they look like they’re not dead. We are so scared of exposing ourselves to death that we almost pretend that death didn’t happen. We’re getting disturbingly good at it too.
By 2050 the elderly will outnumber the young on this planet for the first time in human history. How then will the minority hide the majority? We need to stop hiding death.
Death is natural. In a strange way it is healthy. Healthy for the person who’s dying (why drag out a painful death when you’re old?). It is healthy for society to embrace and understand it. Let’s bring them out of the homes. Let’s learn to see and smell death again.
Comments
ryan - June 8, 2003 11:45 am
i think the very reason for the hiding of death lies in the number of people (myself included) who want to believe in an afterlife, but have a hard time grasping the idea and as a result think death just might be THE END.
Steven Garrity - June 8, 2003 12:07 pm
I remember reading about how death gives meaning to life – without it, life is just the endless passage of time. It may have been Cory Doctorow’s Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, or Ray Kurzweils’ The Age of Spiritual Machines (if any one remembers, let me know). Both books deal with a future where our minds can be either downloaded into a computer, or re-inserted into a cloned body – effectively freeing our minds from the limited lifespan of our bodies.
Alan - June 8, 2003 3:40 pm
In one of Ivan Illich's books, the <i>Limits to Medicine</i> I think, which I do not have handy, there is a section on how medival funerals in some parts of Europe were quite happy festivals and that the death of the body was a cause for joy. Decomposition was not hidden but required to be in view. Modern North American protestantism has removed so much of the focus on God's contiuous creation in favour of getting-my-arse-in-heaven that it is not surprising that it has led to disassociation from the reality of death as well as other realities such as social obligation and charitable works.
Dave - June 8, 2003 6:30 pm
<i>was never a question of if they were going to die, just when.</i>
That's true with all of us, regardless of age.
Dan James - June 8, 2003 8:10 pm
That is true Dave. But I'm speaking about people who are quite ill and will die from the illness. Yes, I will die sometime, but I don't know what from, when, or where. For older folks who are illin' you can answer two out of three of those.
Rob Paterson - June 9, 2003 9:53 pm
Apart from mowing like a madman all weekend (anyone want a mowing job?)I have also just finished a marathon viewing of all 13 episodes of 6 Feet Under a triumphally brilliant series from HBO. It is focused on a family who own a funeral business. Two major themes - how the imminance of death highlights relationships and meaning and what it is like to be gay when you are very conservative.
Two tough subjects that many of us want to hide from. I have never been so moved by a show now I have to wait a whole year for the second series to come out on DVD. Worth a rainy weekend.
Brad Pineau - June 11, 2003 9:16 pm
It's funny how we hide from death so vigorously, yet we see it everyday in the news and on television. You would think that seeing everyone else die would cushion the fact that we will be dead someday as well. I guess what makes death so scary is that we are always so distant from it. I mean, I've seen some pretty shocking things on television, in movies and in the news, but nothing can prepare you for the real thing.